• The Gold Medallist: Typically, the individual who can muster the most dramatic response to a mildly offensive meme, complete with a thread on why it’s the end of civilisation as we know it.
  
  
• The Silver Medallist: The one who brings in historical context, as if the past is a weapon to be wielded with precision and flair.

So, how does one navigate this minefield of hypersensitivity? Fear not, for here are some survival tips that might just keep you from being publicly shamed:

Use euphemisms as if they’re your best friend. "Unique perspectives" instead of "crazy ideas," and "interesting choices" instead of "questionable decisions."

Humour is the biggest enemy. If one must make a joke, ensure it’s so bland and flavourless that it could easily be served at a hospital cafeteria. Sarcasm? Satire? Irony? Forget it! That’ll get you cancelled faster than you can say: "I’m sorry," or "I didn't mean it that way."

Sometimes, the best response is no response. Just nod along, smile politely (even inanely), and hope the conversation will change to the weather or the state of the roads—because, heaven knows, those are safer topics!

As society careens forward in this new era of sensitivity, one can only wonder what the future holds. Will there be a day when everyone’s feelings are accounted for, or will we just keep adding to the list of what’s deemed "unacceptable?"

However, in the grand tapestry of life, perhaps the rise of "woke madness" serves as a reminder that while social awareness is essential, the quest for perfection in language and behaviour might just lead to a world where everyone tiptoes around, even afraid to breathe. After all, who needs healthy conversations and open interactions when you can live in a safe bubble of constant politically correct caution?

And there you have it—woke madness, a phenomenon that’s as confusing as it's entertaining. So, buckle up, people; it's goin' to be a bumpy ride through the "land of sensitivity" that lies ahead!